an insomniac's dream (mrbochenkels) wrote in marginalbeauty,
an insomniac's dream
mrbochenkels
marginalbeauty

the beauty of sadness

this is adapted from my journal.

so judoka came into town for the week to visit the athlete. i was walking with them and the athlete was getting annoyed so she just went off and left judoka and me behind. judoka was really upset because she basically came across the country just to see the athlete for a week and she'd been treating judoka really badly. so anyway, she just went off to the side of this building and started crying really hard. it was so heartbreaking. i can't stand seeing girls cry, especially if they're trying to be nice or being abused in any way.

so judoka was crying and talking about how all she wanted was to make the athlete happy and she'd taken 3 flights just to get here and now she was just getting abused. we were sitting down at the side of this building and i just kept apologizing like mad and telling her she deserved better because she did. judoka is probably the nicest person i've ever met in my life, she genuinely tries to make everyone's life better.

suddenly i looked into judoka's eyes and saw a tear emerge from the blue of her eye. she wiped it away really quickly but i still remember seeing that first one, and the many after it. all these emotions started emerging that i thought were buried inside of me forever. it was so beautifully heartbreaking it made me want to start crying with her. i just whispered in her ear that everything was going to be okay. i honestly wouldn't be surprised if at that moment she was the single most beautiful thing in this entire universe. i walked her back to her room and she went to bed.

it's so strange. ever since i got to college i felt like my soul has been dead. i've felt emotionally numb for so so long. but just seeing judoka sitting there crying, i don't know why but it made all the numbness go away.

In the first post of this community is the phrase: "True beauty isn't in the eye of the beholder; it's universal. Marginal beauty may still be a matter of taste."

I would like to think that moment was one of true beauty.
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